


Janixety

by Winterboxx



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Descriptions of Anxiety, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Lesbian AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:21:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23673790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winterboxx/pseuds/Winterboxx
Summary: Rock is falling for Jan and a little terrified, Jan helps her through it.
Relationships: Jan Sport/Rock m Sakura
Kudos: 21





	Janixety

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fic a few weeks ago and now I'm posting it here. I like this ship a lot so I might write more. Enjoy! 
> 
> If you want to follow me on Tumblr I'm @soulfulwinter

Feelings were hard to deal with. Rock knew this. Uncertainty made her chest tighten, confusion over her own feelings was overwhelming. Most of the time she was better with dealing with it all than she used to be. It was easier to cope these days, but that didn't make it easier when her anxiety peaked. 

She'd joke about everything, humour was her escape. People wouldn’t notice something wrong if they were too busy laughing. Right? 

Sometimes people would see through the facade. That odd person with those caring eyes, the kind heart. Rock could feel her mind wandering off again but did nothing to stop it. The irony of the cause of her anxiety also being the thing she needed to calm was not lost on her.

She was sitting there, a grown woman. 22 years old. She was an adult who knew herself. Feeling something new was terrifying to the young woman though. The confusion just about ate her up inside. The only thing it left behind was a spiralling fear and anxiety. 

Rock's phone buzzed loudly. She flinched at the sudden noise and movement but glanced over. 

She felt her body freeze upon seeing who had messaged her. Jan's contact on her screen showed a simple hello message that seemed as enthusiastic as ever. 

Without time to even think the message over, her phone buzzed again. 

_Hey  
You free today? I'd love to see you!_

Rock felt her heart stutter in her chest. Her chest tightened at the thought of seeing Jan, especially when she was a vortex of emotion. Half of her said it was a bad idea. It told her to hide, make jokes to ward off any suspicion. But the other side spoke louder. It would be good to see her friend, even if she could not make sense of her feelings for the other girl. 

After a brief clash, the louder side won out. She picked up her phone and sent a reply before she had time to think about it.

_Yeah I'm free :)_

Was the smiley face over doing it? Was she being too enthusiastic? No. Jan was the personification of energy, she didn't know the meaning of being too excited. 

\--------

Jan felt excitement bloom in her chest. Rock wanted to see her! She felt ecstatic at the idea of seeing the other girl.

They hadn't known each other for that long. Nicky had introduced them, suggesting rather bluntly that Rock could use more friends and Jan was the easiest person to get along with. The blonde chose to take it as a compliment, not particularly thinking over Nicky's intentions and only seeing the opportunity to make a new friend. 

Jan just wanted to see someone. She didn't want to spend her day off alone and she felt a blossoming close friendship with the other girl. 

She sat there grinning, quickly shooting up to get ready after they agreed to meet at 12 and grab lunch together. She had roughly an hour until she would have to leave, she started to get ready while smiling so much it hurt her cheeks. 

She was just excited to see her friend. That was totally it. Although Jan was generally just excited to live she couldn't help but feel a small flutter in her heart when thinking about seeing her new friend. She swore to herself it was nothing more than that. Just a friend. She was excited to see a friend.

\------

Having arrived slightly early, Rock fiddled with her phone. Jan was not known for being early so she wasn't worried quite yet. Knowing the blonde, she was probably on her way trying to be early and got distracted by a cute animal she saw in the street.

One of the Rock's favourite things about Jan was her enthusiasm. While Rock couldn't help but be in her head a lot Jan would bounce around and appear so happy about so many little things. A memory came to her about a time they were out with Nicky, and Jan just about exploded with excitement upon seeing a cute purple jacket. To give the girl credit the jacket did look adorable on her.

While she was distracted by the thought of the adorable blonde in her favourite colour, Jan appeared. 

Rock was still focused on her phone, not noticing Jan in front of her. Seeing an opportunity Jan brought her arm up to the taller girl's shoulder and lightly touched it. Rock jumped and made a high pitched noise of shock that had Jan doubled over because she was laughing so hard. 

Rock looked at the girl in front of her. She was coincidentally wearing the jacket she was just thinking about. That paired with a purple jumpsuit, and Rock thought she looked adorable in her favourite colour. Her hair was tied up in a fluffy ponytail that swung, bouncing as she was still doubled over in laughter.

The sound of Jan's unrestrained giggles made Rock feel something she was trying to avoid. But the warmth that spread through her chest didn't feel so scary right now. Maybe that was what Jan did to her. Could her fear be wrong? 

Jan eventually regained her composure and met Rock's face with a grin. She couldn't help but notice how the other girl was so effortlessly beautiful. Jan caught herself staring and stopped before Rock could notice. 

"Hey, sorry I was running a little late." Jan smiled softly, watching the taller girl return her smile.

"Hey. Did you get distracted by a cute dog again?"

Jan gasped loudly, placing a hand over her chest in mock offense. 

"I'm offended that you think I'd be distracted by such a thing!" 

"Am I wrong though?" The deadpan delivery Rock gave broke Jan's theatrics as the blonde broke out into a giggle. 

Something twisted inside Rock's chest but she couldn't help but smile at the reaction. Jan's dramatic nature was fun to play with and she clearly had no issues with it. 

After some back and forth jokes the two agreed to go to a cafe that Jan swore had the best coffee and food. Rock shrugged, jokingly saying she was in it for the food.

They settled on a table and ordered some food. Jan got an iced coffee and a sandwich, with Rock getting the same at Jan's insistence it was the best thing she'd ever tasted. Rock had never seen someone so excited over food, but couldn't help joining in the joyful energy that practically spilled off of her friend. 

The pair conversed for a long while, with Jan excitedly going on about whatever was on her mind and Rock firing jokes back whenever she could, leaving the other girl in a fit of giggles. 

Rock felt something, it jolted through her without any warning. The warmth in her chest made it tighten slightly as it started to click. She was crushing hard on Jan. She'd gone her whole life up until recently having never felt such a connection with another girl. Especially not one like Jan.

The blonde noticed the sudden silence from her friend and looked at her with a soft expression.

"Hey Rock, you alright there?" Her tone lacked any patronising or pitying that Rock had come to expect when her emotions became visible to others. Jan looked at her with such genuine care it made her heart melt. 

Rock paused, should she tell Jan what was bothering her? She knew the other girl was out as a gay woman and had been for a good few years. Maybe she would understand? There was something about the other girl that made her seem so trustworthy. Jan was the kind of girl everyone would want in their life. She was full of so much love and compassion that Rock found it difficult to lie to her. 

"Yeah I just..." Rock trailed off, trying to find the words to describe her inner turmoil. Jan reached over and supportingly put her hand on Rock's. She smiled gratefully at Jan. 

"I've been feeling a lot of things recently and it's confusing. Jan, how did you know you liked girls?"

"I just always felt a desire to be around girls more than I did with guys. Women are so beautiful to me. The way people described their feelings for guys growing up is what I always felt for other girls. But just because I knew young doesn't mean other people would. Some people don't discover their true selves until later in life. If you're feeling like you might like girls that's great, but don't push yourself if you're not comfortable yet."

Rock stared back blankly for a second, absorbing everything she was told. Everything Jan said made sense, and the girl spoke so genuinely that it made her words so much more believable. She smiled slightly at the blonde and nodded. Her eyes watered a little. Jan was always good with making people feel better. 

Moving her hand from hiding her face, Rock put it over Jan's and whispered a soft thanks. 

Jan felt her heart melt at the sight. She was just happy to help Rock feel a little less alone. 

They continued eating after, Rock slipping back into her normal jokes and exchanging puns with Jan that left the other groaning with a laugh. 

When it was time to leave, Jan felt her heart sink slightly. She wished to spend more time with the girl. They said their goodbyes and had a very platonic hug that Jan absolutely did not try and stay in for as long as she could. 

\------

Since her lunch with Jan, Rock had come to accept and realise a few things. It all finally clicked after she had gotten home that day. She had feelings for Jan and that was okay. After a little while of thinking it over, she felt comfortable calling herself bisexual. She felt the desire to thank Jan for everything. The opportunity was possibly coming soon with the two meeting up to hang out. Jan was due to be there any minute, but Rock doubted she was going to be on time. The blonde's lateness was a constant, if only by a few minutes. 

Just as her thoughts trailed off, a knock on her door was heard. Rock answered it to a beaming Jan and couldn't help but smile back at the other girl's elation.

Exchanging greetings, Rock invited Jan inside while she grabbed a jacket. Pausing briefly she saw the opportunity to thank her friend. 

"Hey Jan?" 

The blonde turned to her friend quizzically. 

"I just wanted to thank you. That talk we had about sexuality really cleared something up for me. I've realised a few things about myself now and you really helped me feel better about it all."

"I'm glad I could help you feel better. You deserve to feel comfortable in yourself, you're amazing Rock." Jan beamed at her, her body feeling lighter at the idea of being of some help to the other girl. 

Rock stepped closer, softly thanking her again. Jan kept her smile, it made her cheeks ache but she couldn't help it. The two were only a few inches apart when Jan felt something flow through her. A deep desire to close the small gap between them and kiss her friend. Her eyes flickered at Rock's lips. 

Rock caught on to this quite quickly. The energy between them changed as she gave a slight nod and moved closer. Holding brief eye contact with Jan was all the confirmation she needed. Both of them wanted this so there was no problem. 

It was Jan who finally closed the gap, connecting her lips with Rock. It was a quick, soft kiss but said all they needed to know. When they briefly break apart Jan, couldn't hold back her smile, which Rock returned with enthusiasm in her eyes. 

"You know it was you causing this all. And you helped me through it all without knowing. You've got to love that irony," Rock grinned with Jan giggling softly in front of her. 

"You were giving me some janxiety." With that Jan erupted in loud, uncontained laughter. Rock felt some pride in her chest, she felt lighter than ever making the blonde laugh and smile like that. Their love of puns made them a good match. 

"Oh my god! Janxiety, I'm going to use that," Jan managed out in between laughs. 

Jan laughing was one of the cutest things to Rock. She just wanted to hold the girl close and make her laugh with stupid jokes, and kiss her until they were breathless. She pulled Jan back to being a few inches from her face and kissed her once again. The second time was longer and more telling than the first. It was deeper, full of feelings neither girl had dared to speak before. 

Breaking apart one more time, Rock saw Jan’s face flush red at her action. She seemed to want to say something but couldn't help but stupidly grin at the events. 

"So. How about we get going then?"

Rock slipped her hand into Jan's who nodded wordlessly. Just as they door shut behind them, Jan turned to Rock and placed one more kiss to her lips. She could get used to this.


End file.
